Saturday, June 6, 2009

Situation

My family has serious issues with colon cancer and cancer in general. My father-in-law is currently dealing with his colon cancer. So....Heather and I thought it would be a wise idea for me to get checked out. So.....I am currently preparing for a colonoscopy or as I like to think of it.....a good snaking. Today I can't eat anything that can't be chewed. My lovely wife just enjoyed some delicious looking pizza. I have had a bowl of cereal and a bow of mashed taters today. We went to test drive the van tonight and happened to stop off at Whole Foods. I love Whole Foods but.....not when I can't eat. While I did enter the store with her, I eventually ended up walking out and I sat in the van (back seat mind you) and talked on the phone with my friend Scott. I can drink beer so I'm doing plenty of that tonight. Tomorrow I can only have clear things. Chicken broth. Beef broth. Water. Zema was/is clear right? Monday morning will be the second time in my life that I have been put under with the uh........anasthetic. The first time was last summer when my wisdom teeth were yanked. I cried like a school girl before I went to la la land. Very freaky. I'm not lookin' forward to it. What's worse....someone's gonna shove (cuz there's probably no easin' it in there when I'm knocked out) a camera in me and take a look at my damn tonsils. Wonder if they'll find my damn dignity in there???? What a way to start off the summer.

I'm so hungry. My lovely wife ate some delicious looking food tonight. I actually licked her plate while she was watching tv. I don't know how tomorrow is going to go. It's not gonna be good.

2 comments:

TK said...

man, i have to apologize for having such a good laugh at your expense.

sorry. really. i'm sorry. sort of.

Chris said...

mmmmkay. nice to hear from you.

you sir just earned yourself some pics of the ensuing damage that is about to occur.

sorry. really. i'm sorry. sort of.