A bit disgruntled

That describes my overall mood the last few days. I seem to be having what I guess I'll call some mental issues over here. I feel like I'm just going through the motions this year. I really want to complete the race this year but I wish I could be doing something different. I have a ride to Banff if I want it for the start but I can't, in good conscience, do that. I feel like I should have completed this thing already...if I really wanted to. The last 2 years I've had no trouble visualizing tough moments on long climbs or hours of pain and discomfort and pushing through them in my head. I've having a hard time seeing it this year. I imagined the absolute worst I've ever had to deal with while on a bike and failed. I can't really imagine anything harder than what I've already seen and that is disconcerting to me. For the first time in a LONG time I am questioning how tough I really am.