Tuesday, May 3, 2011

HOA Rant

I actually like the concept of a Home Owners Association because, when done properly, it keeps things looking good and property values up. Having said that, I am beginning to get more and more disgruntled with mine. I pay $140 a month for things like lawn mowing (which means they let it get knee high and then hire what could be Ray Charles to mow it all down and trim sporadically twice a year), painting of the deck and some other features (which means they slap on layer after layer of oil based paint until, like this year, everything like my front door starts to peel like a drunk who's been passed out in the sun all day), plowing of the driveway (which means that they come out with a skewed tape meaure and only call out the troops when it is EXACTLY 6" which means anywhere from 9-12" in reality), and several other things that I'll spare you the details on. You get the picture.

I bought this house 6 years ago and one of the things I asked about was the horrible retaining walls. Back then I was told that I was "on the list". I'm still waiting but was told that I was scheduled to have them replaced this month. Then last week I attended a meeting where I found out that we have next to nothing in the budget and that I won't be getting my walls repaired. There are 54 units in my neighborhood. I'll save you the trouble. That's $7,560 each month. About 90 thousand bones a year.

I attended a meeting last week and bit my tongue as hard as I could while hearing about the trials and tibulations that we face. I found out that we just paid some idiot to do gutter repairs. This jackass put extra downspouts on my gutters so that now they divert water away from my already invisible walls. A little late for that but great to know that it cost us about 50 grand. Apparently there were issues (go figure) and the HOA refused to pay the remaining $750 dollars (cuz that'll show em) and the guy is trying to put liens on all the units.

The President of the HOA stopped by the other night to talk to me. He said that they talked about my house at a recent meeting. He said there MIGHT be a chance that they could round up about 2 grand to put towards the walls. The estimate was for 9 grand. I asked if they'd give me the money for the stone so I could install it. Of course not. I'm not bonded and we're all about quality control. I'm pretty sure the guy was drunk when he was talking to me. He farted and I didn't get an, "Excuse me" or "My bad...it slipped". Nothing.

Did I mention that my skylight is also leaking? I'm trying very hard to remain professional but I'm about to let some anger out.

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