Tuesday, May 29, 2012

My tool

This is my tool. It is a good tool. It has served me well. I got my tool in 2008. Yesterday I started my ride about 25ish miles from my house. I am now using bolt on skewers and lovin' every minute of it so I've been using my tool a bit more lately. I drove home after securing the El Mariachi to the top of the car. I worked like a slave around the house today but had to go run errands down the mountain late this afternoon. When I was in downtown Springs I heard something on my roof causing a racket and looked to my left and caught a glimpse of something shiny falling off. I was moving along briskly but managed to take a quick inventory. Phone....check. New ipod Nano...check. That was the only important stuff I could think of. I immediately swung a u-turn and parked on the other side of the median. I walked up and down the median looking in the lane I was in trying not to look like a total psychopath. All I needed was a damn sign saying something witty while asking for change. One guy said hi to me and I immediately responded with, "I have a really nice car parked right over there. If you don't believe me you can go ask that gal sitting inside if she's with me. She'll tell you she is!!!" He drove off. 

I couldn't find my tool. I did the walk of shame back to my car and got in. We drove for a few miles and I just couldn't let it go. I had a lot of shit stolen from me last week. That tool has to be in that half a city block SOMEWHERE!! Heather says, "Dude...I'll buy you a new tool." Really? I thought you knew me. I swung another u-turn to go back to the scene of the incident. I parked and got out with more determination than ever before. This time I decided to study the possible lines of trajectory that my tool could have taken. Then....I started walking on the other side of the road. I estimated the speed I was traveling. I took into account random abnormalities in the road surface and old bubble gum that might have an influence on my tool. Nothing. Just as I was about to give up...I spied something. My tool!!!!! It was in the middle of a very busy 4 way intersection. One car did run over my tool while I was waiting and plotting my moves. Heather said, "You're never gonna get that stupid thing." "Shaddup...I'm trying to get into my zone!!!" I figured...as soon as this light turns red, it's Howdy Dooty time. But then...the other light turned green and I had to deal with cars from the other direction. I yelled out, "Let's take this up a notch!!". By now people are looking at me with curiosity. I'm pretty sure one guy was checking out my wife. Then it hit me. This is just like the Seinfeld episode where George is trying to transport the Frogger game across the busy street. This was my Frogger game. Without much more thought, I saw my opportunity and took off. Flip flops and all. I darted out, made a few sexy moves, grabbed my tool, then headed back to the sidewalk where I did a small victory dance. My tool has a few new marks on it but, otherwise, it's ready for more action.    

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