Saturday, October 23, 2010

I used to really be in to Jeep Cherokees. Every once in a while I miss my 96 but not all that often. Since we still have the 2001, I stay in touch with some of the members of the old club I used to be with. I got A LOT of grief from those guys when I bought the Vanagon. Recently, one of them posted up this little project they found over on Jeep Forum. It's a bit quirky but I like it. If you don't feel like checking it's a pic. The Jeep itself is a bit rough but the kid's taken a Westy top and cut the roof out of the Jeep. If it were me, I would have left the roof in tact and cut a small hole big enough to climb up into and sleep up top like it's done in the Van. He chose to get rid of quite a bit of structural support in the roof and then install a cheesy single hoop cage to try and get back some support. He's also gonna use a hammock inside. Right idea. Poor execution.

In other news...Heather and I are going pants shopping today. I can't friggin' wait to get going. I guess women like trying on clothes. I think it's different for guys. Well...most guys. I'm fine with going in and getting shirts. Worst case scenario is you gotta slip it on real quick, check it out in front of the mirror, get the approval of the wife and then you're outta there. With pants you gotta take a bunch of different sizes in the dressing room and and then you gotta take your shoes off, undo the belt, worry about the wallet falling out, remember the keys and cell phone. Then you gotta take the pants off those stupid hangers with the little claws. Then the pants go on. Now...this may be more information than what you were looking for but get over it. I'm a boxers kinda guy. I'm a bit claustrophobic down there and can't really function in the confines of jockey shorts and don't even get me started on boxer briefs. So...when I pull on pants the boxers get all out of wack. If I'm uncomfortable then there's no way I can switch focus to whether the pants actually fit or not. So then I gotta sweet talk em back down outta my crack. It's usually right about this time that the person working in the store knocks on the door to do a "check in". If it's a female it goes something like this, "How are those working out for you?" Me: "Ummmmm....fantastic!!!!" Meanwhile I'm in there making adjustments while looking at the God damn fool in the mirror. Then she announces, " name's Candy so like...let me know if you need me like get you any more sizes and stuff." Just once I'd like to take have her do all the running back and forth (nothing is more humilliating than having to walk back out to the rack with a pair of pants on that are too short and so damn tight that it inhibits your forward progress but don't forget to scoop up your wallet, keys and cell phone before heading out to find the next size up which is gonna end up on the rack across the aisle because shit's never where it's supposed to be). Sometimes you get a dude that knocks on the door and then the conversation goes somthing like this, (still loud though) "HI!!!!!!! my name iths Chip, how are thoths working out for you?" Me: "%$#@! GREAT!!!!! OK...........I HAVEN'T PULLED MY BOXERS DOWN FROM MY NIPPLES JUST YET CHIP SO I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GO DO SOME FOLDING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!"

Then you gotta put the shoes back on b/c you don't wanna end up with high waters and I also have to put the belt on because I'm very particular about how that whole situation feels. If those don't quite do it then you gotta start the whole process over again. Don't forget that you have to walk out and show the wife how they look. Nothing is worse than when Heather says, "Turn around and let me see how they fit in the crotch". Although I appreciate the fact that she doesn't want me to look like my ass is hungry, I always feel like a damn 10 year old. Inevitably you end up with a style of pants where you're on the bubble between sizes and then you're gonna go back in and try the other ones on just one more time. Sometimes I get so fed up and I decide that nothing is going to fit in this store and then you drive all the way across town to start the process all over again. Either that or I end up buying some pants that don't really fit and then they hang in the closet until I eventually throw them away. Seriously...I bet I have 40 pairs of pants in my closet and many have never been worn. To make matters worse, as I'm getting older, I'm beginning to fluctuate with my weight by as much as 20 lbs. I usually put on the weight in the winter and then it comes off in the summer when I start putting in bigger hours on the bike while surviving off Rice Krispy Treats and Oatmeal Cream Pies. This does not bode well for my pants situation. Right now I have pants that are either a bit baggy or pants that are a bit toit. I life sucks.

Any minute now she's gonna come down the stairs and say (all happy and cheery but minus the lisp), "Are you about ready to go?" Me: "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

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