Thursday, June 7, 2012


Monday night we took a taxi from our resort and headed into downtown Cabo. We had chartered a sailing boat and a crew to take us and a few other couples out for a few of hours. I have never been on a sailing boat before but I kept think of the Wedding Crashers scene where Owen Wilson talks about sailing down under and how everything is opposite. I hoped these guys knew what they were doing. The boat below was just outside of the bay in Cabo. We were told it belongs to the guy that is responsible for Washington apples. This boat was enormous. We circled it so we could see everything. It even had a private helicopter. We were also told that he actually has another boat and this one is the smaller of the two by about 300 feet. Pretty impressive but I did ask whether or not it had a canoe. It does NOT. Suck on it Mr. Washington. 

 This boat is almost like the one Rodney Dangerfield used in Caddyshack where he dropped anchor and it went right through Ted Knight's tiny sailboat and Dangerfield says, " scratched my anchor!"

This is us with our sea legs. We had not actually started sailing yet but after going closer to the rocks in the background and seeing the seals, we then headed out behind those rocks and started the sailing portion of the trip. The arch behind us is a very well known landmark in Cabo that lot's of other tourists get their pictures taken at. More on that later. 

OK...this is the important stuff. The boat we were on was actually pretty big. It had a full kitchen, a bedroom, and 2 bathrooms with showers. Part of the deal was that we had an open bar (which is really unusual in Cabo) and snacky items like nachos and salsa (again super weird for Cabo) and then bread, cheese and that kind of thing. I had a couple of beers while we were on our cruise but then I had to pee. So one of the 3 guys running the boat takes me below and shows me where the bathroom is. This is it. This picture does zero justice to the size of this toilet. The wooden portion in the left of the picture was storage I think but there is not much leg room. I guess fat guys don't sail because I can't imagine having to sit on this little toilet. The hole (or business section) of the toilet was about the diameter of a Red Bull can. You aimed for the hole and when you were done you hit this button and held it on for 5-10 seconds while a pump worked to take all that spent beer into a holding tank I guess. I couldn't help but ask the guy about what happens when you gotta go big boy potty. He said you make your deposit in that hole but that the paper goes in a bag because it can't go in the holding tank. I found the whole damn thing to be kinda gross. I'd rather shit in the woods. Sailers must really like to sail. 

Now when I was down on the poop deck, we were officially sailing. It's rough out there. To make matters more interesting, they decided it was time to make a turn. I have never been tossed around like that while holding my wiener and trying to hit the target. It got to the point that I was laughing hysterically. When I got done, I was kind of creeped out by the bathroom and wanted to get upstairs again so I did not take any more pictures of the place but just to the right of the sink (which would fill almost completely with water and overflow when the boat rocked to one side), is a small chair of sorts. Above it is a shower head. The floor of the bathroom is wooden slots. I guess if you need to shower, you just sit buck naked or stand and do your thing and all that water goes down through the floor and ends up somewhere.  


Dan Schmatz said...

Dude, that basis to the right (aka sink) is where you piss.

Chris said...

I'm pretty sure all good sailors avoid the word sink at all costs.