Tomorrow I'm fishing for something with more teeth than a trout. This steel leader should do the trick. I also got a new knife today. A fillet knife.

Stick a fork in this tire.

Fan vs. Wild

Today I submitted my resume into the Fan vs. Wild casting call. 4 people will be selected to film an episode with Bear Grylls this June. 500 characters is not a lot of room to write about yourself. It's like...4 sentences. Hope it's good enough. The only other show that I've been this hooked on was Fear Factor. They came to St. Louis in about 2002 and had a casting call that I went to. I brought a pigs uterus with me to that (I boiled it). I ate it on stage and got in for an immediate interview with a producer. They gave each of us 30 seconds to tell them about us. They didn't like what I had to say. Wish me luck.

Manliness

With the playoffs really heating up (all but the Colorado series that is) I'm beginning to question my manhood more than I normally would. I was unable to find any pictures of the evidence but you can Google it. First up is ex-Avalanche superstar Ian Laperrier. Even though he's now with the Flyers he's still one of the greats. He blocks Paul Martins slapshot the other night in the first period and ends up taking it just above the right eye. Heads back to the locker room for surgery and is back for the third period. What a stud. Next up (and perhaps the most difficult for me) is Jaromir Jagr. This guy takes a high stick to the mouth. I'm pretty sure he lost a few teeth but he definitely had to head back to the locker room and have a root canal done. He wanted to return to the game but the staff told him no. I'm guessing he did NOT get the gas. Last up is Eric Belanger. This guy takes a nasty high stick and loses some teeth. The ice workers found several during intermission. Belanger pulls one of them out on his own when he makes it to the bench. Then they send him back to the locker room for about 70 stitches to the gums and lips. In all I think he lost 8 teeth. Good stuff this year.

Game 6

I got my lucky jersey on. I got some new shoes. I got a nice beer. I feel like I've done my part now I just need the Av's to do the rest. Let's go boys!!

I almost forgot

So last week I started having a tooth ache. It started out slowly but then got to the point where my jaw hurt, my neck was sore and I had constant headaches. Dentists are not my favorite. If you can recall, the last time I was at the dentist I almost lost my tongue in an "oops...I slipped" accident. So I finally get to the point where I gotta go in to have it looked at. This is the same tooth that was getting worked on during the tongue incident by the way. I find a new dentist in town to go to and make it in for an xray and the nice lady points out all the infection that is going on down in the root of that tooth. I need a root canal but she doesn't do them and so I'll have to go to an oral surgeon down the mountain.

So we head down to Dr. Ishley's office. I'm a nervous wreck when we walk in but we are greeted by the nicest people working the front desk. 10 minutes later I'm in the chair and wringing my hands. They do some tests to make sure of what's going on and take some more xrays and the fine doctor comes in to see me and explain the procedure. He can tell I'm nervous so he asks if I would like to have some gas. Now...normally I'd say no because I get enough gas as it is but then it dawns on me that he's not talking about that kind of gas. He's extremely professional and I'm impressed and decide I'd be a fool to not get the gas.

The assistant hooks things up and I start breathing in through my nose. Did I mention that I'm listening to Pink Floyd's Pulse Live show? She tells me to treat it like I'm water skiing and give her a thumbs up or down to adjust the gas level and I find myself giving her the thumbs up quite a bit. 15 minutes later she comes in to check on me and I'm feeling GREAT. Did I also mention that I'm watching a home makeover show on a tv that's in the ceiling? Now...this makes no sense but I think that combined with the fact that all the blood has rushed to my head it's actually enhancing my gas experience. She asks how I'm doing and I'm pretty sure I said, "Ohhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhh." I think then I gave her a double thumbs up and asked if she could come back after Dark Side of the Moon. A few minutes later the doctor comes in to get things started and he asks how I'm doing and I spring to attention. For some reason I think I panicked that I was gonna get in trouble for being under the influence. It was the exact feeling you get rushing through your body when you've had 1 beer and get pulled over. I thought I was busted. I remember saying, "Oh.....I'm totally fine." Then I remember saying to myself, "You idiot...you freaked out and he know's it."

He was a professional though and didn't laugh at me. Then they gotta give me the shots. Now I can see him working in the reflection of the tv and I can feel the shots but I really don't give a shit at this point. If I focus on the reflection of him working I panic but if I watch the guy making a headboard out of an old ass door and breathe through my nose I could care less what the doctor does to me. Literally. I count 5 shots and I notice that he's giving these shots like he's at a bar playing darts. Just lobbin' them in. He knows what he's doing and I trust the guy but I'm sure he does this all day long. At one point I worry that he's thinking (or even saying outloud and I just can't comprehend it) "This guy's F*%@$d up and his tongue is all up in my way." Meanwhile I'm going back and forth between lampshades and eyeballin' him like I'm falling in love. The shots are done and they're gonna give me 10 minutes or so to trip out.

They come back and do some tests to make sure things are numb and I honestly felt the tooth right away. So....more darts and then another 10 minutes later and he goes to work. He stops and asks if I can feel anything and I tell him I can't even feel my ankles. My right ear is numb on the inside and that's really enhancing the gas because now my hearing's going in and out. I have no idea how long he worked on the tooth but it was a while.

They finished up and took me off the gas and told me that they were able to get all the infection out but that I have to come back to finish up the procedure. I ask if I can have more gas when I come back. YES!!!!! I'm already starting to put together a playlist for that visit and I'm open to suggestions. The tooth has been very sore for a few days now but the Vicodin is helping in that area.

Woke up to a phone call Friday morning that said we were gonna have a late start. Shortly after that school was called off entirely. It's still snowing now and I'm sure we've gotten 14-16" already. This is the heaviest snow I think I've ever had to shovel. Normal men would be in traction by now.

Dharma was pretty happy to finally find a spot to poop.

Some would even call this a moist snow.

I was actually planning on doing some fishing for something a little different today or tomorrow but that may not happen now.

I need it to get warm so I can get this thing fixed and sold.